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When I first heard this parable as a child it was presented as the story of the prodigal son. More recently, especially in FFF posts reflecting on this gospel passage, I’ve emphasised the loving father.
This year, perhaps because I’m on day two of leading a retreat focussed on spiritual maturity, I can’t get past the two sons.
A few years ago Benedict XVI in a reflection which was significant for me suggested that “in this parable the sons behave in opposite ways: the younger son leaves home and sinks ever lower whereas the elder son stays at home, but he too has an immature relationship with the Father. In fact, when his brother comes back, the elder brother does not rejoice like the Father; on the contrary he becomes angry and refuses to enter the house.”
Benedict continues: “The two sons represent two immature ways of relating to God: rebellion and childish obedience. Both these forms are surmounted through the experience of mercy. Only by experiencing forgiveness, by recognising one is loved with a freely given love a love greater than our wretchedness but also than our own merit do we at last enter into a truly filial and free relationship with God.”
I think I’ve read this dozens of times in recent years… the problem is with the two sons. I’d love to know what happens next. Do the two brothers meet or talk again, or is the tension too great?
This is the tragedy of human relationships, often so rich with potential for depth and maturity, but the difficult moment, the tension, is allowed to become a permanent block, an obstacle.
I’ve been wondering which of the brothers was in the best position to make a gesture of reconciliation. I can’t decide. Certainly the first brother could at least send a note apologising for taking off in the first place. But then the second could send a note apologising for his reaction to the homecoming feast and add “it’s good to have you back.”
What do you think?
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Send your date and time to add to the list, and just turn up at at one of the advertised gatherings, just one hour, focussing on where we are encountering Christ.
CHRISTCHURCH
Monday 23 March 10.00am (& every Monday)
Moku cafe, Bush Inn Centre
Waimairi Road.
LOWER HUTT
Wed 26 March 10.30am
Invite from Catherine
Columbus Cafe in Mitre 10
25 Bouverie St, Petone.
WHANGANUI
Thursday 27 March 7.00am
St. Mary’s Church – & every Thursday
Invitation from Kate
NEW PLYMOUTH
Thursday 27 March 10.00am
Stumble Inn, 200 Mangorei Road
Invitation from Joan
John happy retreat! Praying for you and the participants..
Not sure about the brothers / sons..
What I do know is the father (God) is amazing… waiting day by day for his son’s return… that embrace.. AND equally mercifully, leaving the party, going out to meet the other son to talk it over…
Seeking forgiveness is not about waiting for the other to make the first move. That’s conditional love. God loves us unconditionally and we are called to do the same. Not an easy thing to do but with God’s grace we can and it’s the beginning of healing in broken relationships.
Yes Liz you are correct. I recently had a business agreement “broken” by the other party. When I was confronted with his breaking of what I thought was a verbal contract I was really upset. However, after a week or two I sent and email to which he responded.. It transpired we had totally different perspectives and the problem was really a failure by both of us to clearly state our goals! In this case I elected to reach out to him in an attempt to maintain good neighborly relations and it appears to have resolved the situation. I dug deep in my Christian belief!!
I’m with Fr Phil on this one, not sure about the Sons which one but as human nature dictates we can feel sorry for the one who stayed on the farm!
But in later years the emphasis has been on the forgiving father God as Pope Benedict says.
Fr John I’ll tell you something amusing about this Gospel reading early in our marriage and farming we had a large piggery as well as dairy cows and my husband used to feel rather put out how it betrayed pig farming.!
I’d like to think it was the nature of mercy that colours what happened next. As Benedict says:
“Both these forms are surmounted through the experience of mercy.” Mercy is relational. Don’t we want to be, not just the one who is being forgiven, but also the one who forgives? Not just the one who is welcomed home, but also the one who welcomes others home? Not just the one who receives compassion, but the one who offers to others the same compassion that is being offered to us?
I think there has to be movement towards forgiveness (letting go of resentment and making up) from both brothers.
But I think the first move by the brother returning in humility is movement in reconciliation. The brother that stayed home should soften his heart towards his brother.
I’m not sure it matters which brother goes first—it’s really about both hearts moving toward mercy, like the Father who ran first to meet the returning son. The Father shows us that humility and love can break pride and resentment.
The Litany of Humility helps either brother surrender pride or shame, and St. Francis’ prayer calls us to be channels of peace—“Where there is injury, pardon.”
Who speaks first doesn’t matter, as long as both have reconciliation in their hearts. But if one heart remains closed, then it never mattered who made the first move—both need to be committed.
Maybe this is one of our Lenten challenges: to imitate the Father, and take the first step toward someone who needs reconciliation, even if it’s just a small gesture with discernment and grace?!
I put myself in the shoes of each man: first one, and then the other, and I believe only the retuned brother who, filled with the reality of love itself, has the instinct and manner (the way) to enfold his brother with love.
“Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends.”
This line in this parable has always intrigued me.
Was the second son loving the Father for the right reasons, or was he more annoyed that the wealth of his inheritance would be reduced by the return of his brother? Did the second son ever have the humility to ask the Father for a goat to share with his friends, or did he see as an entitlement he was denied?
The second son failed to recognize that Gods mercy and gifts have no limits. So until he learnt the humility of honouring the Father as the supreme giver with a request for his needs, a goat, and that he has lost nothing by honouring his Father in joining with him in joyful celebration in the sons return, there will be no reconciliation of the two brothers.